Sexual Shadow Integration A 9-Month Online Deep Dive into Your Sexual Unconscious

~  Starting again 2020 ~


Sexual Shadow Integration A 9-Month Online Deep Dive into Your Sexual Unconscious

~  Starting again 2020 ~


Sexual Shadow Integration addresses the dimensions of our sexuality that are held in the unconscious. What plays out in our sexuality is often the result of states, beliefs or experiences that live in our unconscious, in other words, we are not fully aware of them, and have not embraced them with awareness and love.

This course addresses, in a profound way, questions such as:

  •    What to do about sexual fantasy arising?
  •    What are affairs about?
  •    What if I don’t feel any sexual desire?
  •    How do I get free from the memory of sexual trauma?
  •    How can I overcome the shame, guilt and embarrassment that comes up for me around sex?

The method of work we will employ in this 9-month course is a systematic immersion in the main themes that express in people’s sexual shadow lives.

Through this work, we get to see that conscious, loving and playful engagement with what we have not allowed ourselves to fully see in our sexuality not only relieves us of much shame and guilt, but more importantly – it gives us access to aspects of our psyches that have been calling for our attention.

Greco-Roman mythology portrays an epic love-affair between Eros, the son of Aphrodite and the god of romantic love, and Psyche, the deification of the human soul (psyche literally means “soul, spirit, breath, life or animating force”). Out of their union is born Voluptas, the embodiment of physical pleasure, of bliss.

This myth points to the truth that Eros will only be fully ignited into physical pleasure or bliss if Psyche is honored – if we listen to the messages that our psyches bring us in matters of sexuality and intimacy.

Usually, this listening takes us to places that we haven’t explored or honored in our psyches, such as:

  • suppressed anger or fear
  • our relationship with power (power over, power under dynamics)
  • unconscious ancestral dynamics at play
  • shocks and traumas from infancy and childhood

During these 9 months, you will learn an enormous amount about yourself - and how to navigate through the murky terrain of personal and collective sexual shadow arising - whilst holding everything in love and clarity.



Exploring Eros as a pathway into the unconscious and why our lovemaking is not yet the ultimate meditation. Why we need to spend time at the walls of the outer temple of desire and fantasy before we can enter into the pure presence of the inner temple. Discover why the erotic is such a valuable tool for integrating what is in the unconscious. We will look at five reasons to embrace our desire and engage with a practice to meet and embrace our sexual shadow.


Furthering our exploration of desire and discover how to move beyond objective to subjective desire. Engaging in a practice of holding sensations in awareness, discovering our own holiness and embracing the qualities of innocence and pure presence. 


If we desire to move from a place where our reality is defined by our ego,to living from our soul’s truth, it is valuable to be able to identify and integrate the polarities from which we unconsciously live. During this module we will engage in Polarity Processing, a key method for the transformation and integration of unconscious material. 


Understanding the Law of Duality, we realize that as desire is discovered, so are we presented with the opportunities to face our fears. In this module we will explore archetypal fears that arise from the unconscious and investigate ways in which our fears of being shamed, humiliated, embarrassed or feeling guilty show up in our erotic lives and how to work with them.



In this module, we will examine how to free ourselves from the unconscious contracts and addiction patterns around intimacy inherited from our ancestors that have shaped our current relationship with sexuality. How to become the creators of our own experiences. 


A significant pattern that is revealed when the unconscious gets integrated is that, somewhere along the line, we have felt like we were victims. Where there is a victim, there is a rescuer and a perpetrator. In this module we will explore the Karpman Drama Triangle and how to free ourselves from the cycle of repetition. 


In this module we will explore ways of entering into power and control eroticism as well as explore anger as an emotion that can be hard to let ourselves feel. We will look into conscious and unconscious power dynamics in relationships as well as submission versus control and bondage. We will engage with exercises to release anger in safe ways and how to balance our energy after venting.


In this module, we will explore erotic fantasy themes that are a taboo-breaking response to traditional ideas. Specifically, the themes are threesomes, group & public sex, extramarital sex, wilderness fantasies and exploring our wild instinctual animal natures.


Here we will get a basic understanding of what sexual trauma is, how it is stored in the unconscious, how it becomes conscious and how sexual trauma can be released. You will see that our sexual body can show trauma responses even when we have had no overt sexual trauma. We will develop a relationship with our wise body and learn to trust the nervous system. We will engage in practices and exercises to find your conscious NO and YES enabling us to become fully embodied while honouring our story and receiving our gifts of experience and healing.


During the nine months we will deeply explore all aspects of the erotic unconscious in a close group of students, learning and discovering through not only our own explorations but from one another in a container of safety and non-judgement.

This course forms part of our longer TOTALITY THERAPY TRAINING and comprises one of the four modules required to complete this training and become a facilitator.  The teaching is experiential and will require of you to live through all aspects that the course addresses, however please note that a partner is not required to do this work.  This course is ideal for professionals who are or would like to work with the theme of sexuality in private practice or group work.

For those interested in participating for professional training reasons, this course covers the personal explorations component of your training. I.e. Giving you the opportunity to guide your clients from a place of lived experience and compassionate understanding rather than theory alone. Training for facilitating this work will take place in a later module forming part of the Totality Therapy Training.

This course is entirely suitable for individual and personal development motivations only.

OPTIONAL: To take your experience of this work to a more embodied level you are invited to join us for an IN PERSON 10-day Sexual Shadow Work and Masculine-Feminine Integration retreat in South Africa from 30 November - 10 December 2018.

For those people wanting to complete the full Facilitators Totality Therapy Training, participation in at least one in person retreat is a pre-requisite for qualification.


polarity 1


  • Comprehensive monthly teaching sessions in written format

  • Homework Assignments and supplementary materials with reflection questions

  • Twice a month live practice and coaching calls with facilitators. (Thursdays at 9am PT)

  • Access to a course website to retrieve all materials and secret Facebook group to share and explore with fellow participants

  • Supplementary bonus teaching sessions with guest teachers

  • A copy of Shakti Malan's ebook: Basic Sexual Shadow Work



Tiffany Stone

Tiffany has a passion for psychological processes, depth facilitation, process work and shadow work integration specializing in facilitating deep and insightful inner work dialogues using a practice to access our inner relationship dynamics through reflections in our external relating. She takes a no-nonsense approach in the seeking of radical clarity through honesty and often asking uncomfortable questions.

After growing up in a conservative religious environment, Tiffany married young and followed what she thought was "the right thing to do". After breaking through her illusions she embarked on a life altering journey of self-discovery which has taken her through many varied terrains from tantric explorations to shamanic practices to training in ancestral lineages through family constellations work. Ultimately her favourite tool is to remain unfathomably curious with her own psyche and hidden shadow desires as a guide to piecing together the puzzle of patterns in the life of her creation.


Rhianne van der Linde

Rhianne is an avid alchemist and a dedicated dreamer with a depth of knowledge and experience of transforming the mundane into the magical. Her personal explorations have led her into working with dreams, as a companion to those busy with their journey of dying, exploring the breath as a thread connecting us directly to source & processing and ritual with groups in wild nature. Truth as emptiness and Truth as embodiment - as consciousness expressing in form, in beautiful bodies of love...it is this language of the heart, this feminine language of embodiment & feeling that Rhianne is most interested in learning and sharing.

Participating in the first 18-month Online Totality Therapy Training offered by Shakti in 2012/13 was a profoundly transformative period in her life. This ‘work’ opened her up to the vastness of Being by confronting her with every belief she ever held about herself, about the ‘other’ and about the world we live in. Her reality, consensual reality… what is the Truth of Reality? These questions turned her inside, outside, upside down…presented a rare opportunity to investigate who we really are beyond right and wrong, beyond gender stereotypes and ancestral expectations. During the last 8 years or so, she has explored her (personal) sexuality and its expression outside of the usual definition of ‘relationship’. What does that look like for her? What is her desire,? Where is her attraction?  So here she is, following her Bliss, taking responsibility for everything that arises in the field of experience and deeply knowing that it is the only way to live a truly human life.

Headshot Claire Rumore 2018

Claire Rumore

Claire was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school for many years. She grew up in a sexually repressed and confusing culture in the southern region of the United States. Abstinence until marriage was the expectation and "sex makes you feel guilty" was the attitude. Though at the time she felt enveloped by hypocrisy and confusion, this set of conservative circumstances proved to be blessing by later inspiring her to become a student of human sexuality and gender studies. Bringing over 15 year’s worth of experience with sexual and somatic education alongside shamanic and Tantric training, Claire works as a coach, counselor, mentor, confidant and teacher of sexuality and spirituality. She has formal training in life coaching from San Francisco State University plus somatic psychotherapy through the Hakomi Institute of California, and is a certified Soul Coach trained by internationally renowned teacher Denise Linn. She is also a certified sex educator through the San Francisco Sex Information initiative, a long time student and mentee of the late Shakti Malan, a Reiki Master, a CMT, and a pagan Priestess-in-training.

Nick 2

Nick Hudis

Nick Hudis is a UK based relationship and sexuality coach. He has been working in the fields of personal development and natural health for over twenty five years and has a background in Taoism. martial arts, Tibetan Buddhism, Zen and Tantra. Nick works with both men and women but has a particular passion for guiding men into the embodiment of the Sacred Masculine through being great lovers and partners and living skillful, purposeful, responsible lives. He is the author of three books on sexuality and spirituality. Nick's own journey from shy, repressed Mr Nice Guy to internationally recognized coach and author has been rich and challenging and he has travelled deep into his own shadows to find integrity. The guidance he received from Shakti Malan has been pivotal on this journey. Nick believes that the key relationship in our life is the relationship we have with ourself and that everything flows from a foundation of self awareness, self responsibility and self love.


The materials of this training have been created by the late Shakti Malan. Shakti was a Teacher of Tantra, the practice of awakening to our true nature and embodying what is realized in our daily lives. Whereas many spiritual traditions have seen our sexuality as an obstacle to awakening, Tantra regards it as a gateway. Shakti received the transmissions of great Tantric masters of our time whose focus is on integrating the masculine and feminine within us. Her life was a profound initiation into living in a state of openness to all of life's experience - the agony and the ecstasy.  With a PhD in social anthropology, a discipline that unmasks the assumptions through which we interpret the lives of 'others', she invites us to listen to what is said in silences, gestures, subtle movement and organization of space. Shakti's approach to Tantra was influenced by Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist and Shamanic Tantra, the psychology of the unconscious, and scientific discoveries about the human nervous system and neurochemistry. Her work is motivated by a deep love and care for people and the planet.



“A pioneer in the field of Human consciousness and awakening – Shakti marries her deep knowledge of Anthropology and Human Sexuality towards insights and teachings into the human condition which   are forward thinking innovative and inspiring.  Shakti’s teachings have allowed me to come home to a place I always knew existed but lacked the capacity to reach on my own. A Re –Pairing on the deepest level. The teachings and subtle body work practices have set in motion the expanding of a felt sense reality for me – towards a rich and tapestried life of intimacy and love making that I could not have imagined before.”

Paul Abro Testimonial

Paul Abro

Totality Therapy Practitioner & Dentist, Cape Town

“This course created a safe and sacred space for me to know myself more deeply. Within the mystery and magic of the container that Shakti set, I had insights that profoundly impacted my soul journey… Through the exercises and Shakti's expert facilitation, I was able to re-integrate and love the disowned parts of myself, which made me more whole and more truly who I am.”

MichelleS Testimonial i

Michelle Stransky

Founder of Wisdom Women, San Francisco, USA

“I heartily recommend this course because what you will learn about about yourself through this process is nothing short of magical and miracle-generating! I've watched as I've increased in self-love and understanding that can be extended more easily to my Beloveds.  I also watch my own clients blossom before my eyes as I teach them what this work has taught me.”

Claire Testimonial

Claire Rumore

Intimacy Counselor, San Francisco, USA


To indicate your interest in this upcoming training, complete your contact details here. In this way we can keep you informed when registration becomes available. Please note that this is under no obligation to register for the actual training.

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  • Do I need a partner to do this work?

    No, this course is designed to be a personal journey, tapping into your own personal desires, fantasies and inner discoveries. For those who are in partnerships you may find that this will bring a greater dimension to your relating and intimacy with one another. 

  • I can't attend the coaching sessions live - what now?

    Not a problem – sessions are recorded and will be available within 48 hours so you can download and listen to them at your own convenience. The majority of the teaching component of this course is delivered written format.  You will gain most benefit from your personal written reflections and engagements with your fellow students online. It is also possible to work through the materials solely although support within the group is encouraged.

  • What if I need more support?

    If you find you require additional support aside from the group coaching sessions provided with this course, then you are welcome to approach any of the facilitators and book private sessions. These sessions are booked and paid separately and negotiated between you and the facilitator in their private capacity. 

  • Do I have to finish the course in a certain time period?

    No. Because you are able to download all the materials, you can work through them at your own pace. You will have access to the community website for one full year so that you can continue to interact and learn with the course participants even after you have completed your sessions. 

  • What about confidentiality?

    Your journey remains completely confidential. If you wish to share on the community website, there is a confidentiality agreement in place on the site.

  • Do I need good internet or internet skills to do this course?

    Only for downloading and interaction in the Q&A aspect of the sessions. We will give you all the support we can – and you’ll see that, once you’re in the flow, it’s really easy.  Because all of the materials are downloadable, you can always ask a friend to help you download everything from the internet.

  • Does the course require specific knowledge or experience?

    No. In fact, sometimes the less you know, the better it is – this opens you to beginner’s mind and to meeting the material in a fresh way.


We know there will definitely be questions and challenges arising all along the way, so to get the most out of this course, you need not only training, but ongoing support and a deep connection with others on the same path. A powerful learning community for your growth.
When you register for Sexual Shadow Work Course you’ll become part of an inspired, vibrant global learning community of individuals just like you who are seeking to connect with like-minded men and women. You’ll be engaging with the materials provided, and also with your fellow students from around the world through a private community website created exclusively for the participants in this course.