Totality Therapy Training



The Totality Therapy Training is a 21-month online intensive in which I provide my most comprehensive teaching and transmission on how to work with the psychological and mystical dimensions of sexuality. The teaching is experiential and will require of you to live through every aspect that the course addresses. This program is ideal for professionals who are or would like to work with the theme of sexuality in private practice or group work.


It is my knowing, that what qualifies us to work with others is not the certificates on our walls but the wisdom and maturity that we develop through immersing ourselves in life’s rich experience with clarity, awareness and an ever expanding heart. It is my intention that you complete this program with not only a vastly expanded relationship with your own inner landscape, your sexuality and the world you live in, but also that you are richly equipped to facilitate this work for clients and students who come your way.
This page is lengthy, but I ask that you study it with your full attention. Doing so will give you a small introduction to the level of commitment and application that signing up for this training will require of you.


Totality refers to the whole or the sum of something. Totality Therapy is a modality that I developed to support participants in cultivating a whole or full embrace of all that life offers us – the agony and the ecstasy – and particularly as this gets revealed through our sexuality. It is a contemporary and streamlined interpretation of the wisdom of Tantra, the ancient practice of integrating transcendent/mystical realization in all aspects of your life, including your body, your emotions, your sexuality and your relationships.

Many religions and spiritual traditions have aimed to achieve God-realization through transcending this world. I believe that every single experience we get to have in this human life is an invitation to meet, realize and embrace our divinity.  But the key is our willingness to embrace the totality of life – the bitter as much as the sweet. My journey with cancer in the last two years has deepened my understanding of this principle immeasurably, and it is clear to me that most people still walk on earth believing that the purpose of life is to do what they can to get the experiences they want – and to avoid the ones they don’t want. This tendency, while being sweetly human, is unfortunately also the cause of most of our suffering.




We have been trained in our culture to be only partly alive and to not experience anything too fully or intensely. In fact, this society avoids at all costs the intensity of being truly present in this moment, with everything that it brings. Totality Therapy invites you to be alive in the full range of your human experience. If you were the moon, that would mean being as present with your experience when you become the super-moon as with the total eclipse of the moon.

polarity 1


Patriarchal mind has devised polarized patterns of thinking that are now deeply entrenched in our systems. We are constantly hooked into attraction-repulsion dynamics [e.g. I want to be seen like this and not like that, I am this kind of person and not that kind of person, I don’t like this about myself/you – I want (you) to be the opposite]. Whilst we are constantly see-sawing between good and bad, right and wrong, attraction and repulsion, our energy stays trapped. Freedom comes from developing a witness and cultivating the inner freedom to embrace those life experiences that you have rejected (what you have labeled as bad/undesirable), entering into them fully when they present themselves.


We are blessed in today’s world with an abundance of superb therapeutic modalities, and yet so few deeply address the dynamics of sexuality. I believe that this is because sexuality is such a taboo topic in our world. Sexuality is also one of the most complex aspects of our psyches because it is intricately linked with our unconscious. What happens in our sexual lives and sexual experience is so often veiled and hidden behind shame, guilt, embarrassment and a sense of failure. This is also unfortunately the case for many therapists. The Totality Therapy Training is setup to guide you in discovering the full range of your sexual experience – from hidden shadow dynamics to the light of essence that shines through your sexuality.


The entire Totality Therapy Training explores life from the perspective of our sexual/intimate experience. The reason for this focus is as follows:


The unconscious is every aspect of our lives that we haven’t fully integrated or felt. Starting with birth and throughout our lives, we have experiences that are overwhelming and too much for us to digest at the time. These often show up later in our sexuality. For instance, not being breastfed or not receiving enough mother love can lead to a sexual obsession with breasts. On a collective level, our cultural and religious beliefs and positions create patterns in the unconscious. The good/bad split in our psyches manifests in our sexuality in a myriad of ways such as the virgin/whore polarity that many women find themselves moving in, or the good husband/rebellious teenager split that men encounter. Moments not fully lived or felt can also create unconscious patterns in us, for instance, a past love affair that hasn’t been fully integrated may resurface and create unexpected sexual tension.


While our society has turned sex into a genital affair, Totality Therapy aims to expand your horizons so that you can experience the true nature of sexual energy – as life force itself – the power that animates all of life. This broader understanding of sexual energy requires a re-definition of what we mean by masculinity and femininity, and an inquiry into the nature of attraction – the electrical response which initiates the movement of life force.


You may be one of those lucky people who have had a sexual experience which took you so deeply into this moment that you disappeared into eternity. Such deep immersion in presence during lovemaking is likely to be a chance occurrence – until you get initiated into the meditation of lovemaking. A significant aspect of the Totality Therapy Training is immersion in Tantric lovemaking practices. You will be taught both solo and partner practices. But don’t worry – you will still be able to fully participate even if you don’t currently have a sexual partner.


It has become a trend in spiritual circles to deny the value of therapy. I believe that this is because much of therapy has become a rationally-driven business which tends to keep clients in the identification with their story about themselves. Many spiritual seekers see therapeutic methods as slow and not resonant with the deeper levels of self-realization that they are achieving through spiritual practice.


Having said that, I also believe that denying the value of therapy is a dangerous movement for spiritual seekers as it contributes to spiritual bypassing – that is, the use of spiritual practice and realization to bypass or avoid our humanity, which includes all the dimensions of our emotional and sexual lives that are held in the unconscious. Spiritual bypassing is simply a modern version of spiritual and religious movements that aim to transcend by escaping the intricacies and messiness of this human life.

What if therapy – our kind, loving and aware inquiry into the aspects of our life that have not yet been fully embraced – is a doorway into the mystery? It is clear to me that our capacity to be present with our humanity opens us to an intimate knowing of life beyond consensual reality – beyond what we can perceive with our five senses. Totality therapy invites you into the mystery beyond what you think you can know, feel and see where there is a world waiting to be discovered – all the way into your subtle sexual body.


The Totality Therapy Training program is a practitioner’s training program. It will benefit you if:

  • You have an existing practice which you wish to develop and grow or
  • You would like to start a practice focused on the totality therapy materials.
  • You are also welcome to do this program purely for personal development reasons.

Whereas most professional training programs are mainly intellectual, this program is experiential. It is my view that practitioners are only able to assist clients with life issues that cross over into sexuality to the degree that the practitioner has lived into his/her own sexuality – both the shadow and the light of it. At the same time, this program is also deeply satisfying on an intellectual and academic level.

We will be systematically exploring all of the main themes that you may encounter in a somatic, therapeutic or spiritual inquiry around sexuality. Please note that this training is not medical/anatomy focused.

Apart from immersion in the materials and therapeutic modalities, you will also be learning how to facilitate the material covered. I teach both facilitation of one-on-one (or couple’s) sessions as well as the facilitation of group work. If you are taking this training for your personal growth only, you will find that the facilitation training adds invaluable interpersonal skills to your abilities.

As part of the training program, I will be guiding participants to start a service project in a community or subculture that operates from different assumptions to your own social environment. This project will be an invaluable learning ground for you in understanding perspective and discovering how to perceive life from the perspective of ‘others’.

The Totality Therapy Training is not accredited with any academic institution. Clients will come to you because they can sense the depth of experience, compassion and clarity that you bring to your work as it relates to the theme of sexuality. The kind of skill & capacity you will acquire on this training is extremely rare on the planet at present.


You are welcome to choose how you would like to participate in this training:

  1.    For your personal development only
  2.    To add to your existent professional skill-set and/or
  3.    To do a full apprenticeship with me.

If you would like to do the full Totality Therapy apprenticeship (which will result in becoming certified by me in this modality), you will need to complete 80% of the course assignments, attend at least one in-person Totality Therapy retreat* with me, and have professional mentoring sessions* with me until we both agree that you are complete. You will be asked on the application form to indicate if the apprenticeship is your intention.
*Please note that the cost of these is not included in the online training program.


The main content of the training is expressed through four modules. Each module starts with a 7-week course that is open to the public. Participating in these 7-week courses not only gives you a concentrated introduction to the theme, but also provides you with an opportunity as a facilitator to experience how a larger audience works with the materials you will be covering in more depth.


23 MAY – 4 JULY 2017

In this first module, we will be exploring a fundamental Tantric principle, which is that the masculine and feminine exist within us. The alchemy of the inner love affair requires of us to be aware of the different dimensions of the masculine and feminine that are at play in us – as mirrored by men and women in our lives. You will also get grounded in some practices that are fundamental to the work we will be doing on this training.

During this module, you will:

  • develop a keen understanding of the unconscious, the conscious and the deep masculine and feminine
  • learn a fun technique for processing unconscious materials that arise in relationship
  • practice working with projections in relationship
  • get grounded in ‘pillow talk’ – a technique that enables you to access precise information about your inner relationship from your outer relationship life


After completing the first 7 weeks with the public group, you will continue to work on this material with me for another 5 weeks. In this time you will:

  • develop a deeper understanding of masculine-feminine dynamics through ongoing study and practice
  • learn to facilitate the techniques used in this module


8 AUGUST 2017 – 19 JUNE 2018

Sexual Shadow Work addresses the dimensions of our sexuality that are held in the unconscious. What plays out in our sexuality is often the result of states, beliefs or experiences that live in our unconscious, in other words, we are not fully aware of them, and have not embraced them with awareness and love.

This module addresses, in a profound way, questions such as:

• What to do about sexual fantasy arising?
• What are affairs about?
• What if I don’t feel any sexual desire?
• How do I get free from the memory of sexual trauma?
• How can I overcome the shame, guilt and embarrassment that comes up for me around sex?

The method of work we will employ in this substantial module is a systematic immersion in the main themes that express in people’s sexual shadow lives. Through this work, we get to see that conscious, loving and playful engagement with what we have not allowed ourselves to fully see in our sexuality not only relieves us of much shame and guilt, but more importantly – it gives us access to aspects of our psyches that have been calling for our attention.

Greco-Roman mythology portrays an epic love-affair between Eros, the son of Aphrodite and the god of romantic love, and Psyche, the deification of the human soul (psyche literally means “soul, spirit, breath, life or animating force”). Out of their union is born Voluptas, the embodiment of physical pleasure, of bliss. This myth points for me to the truth that Eros will only be fully ignited into physical pleasure or bliss if Psyche is honored – if we listen to the messages that our psyches bring us in matters of sexuality and intimacy. Usually, this listening takes us to places that we haven’t explored or honored in our psyches, such as:

• suppressed anger or fear
• our relationship with power (power over, power under dynamics)
• unconscious ancestral dynamics at play
• shocks and traumas from infancy and childhood

Much, if not most of what a client will come to a facilitator with when seeking support for their sexual lives has to do with this sexual shadow material. It is my experience that the skill of a facilitator in navigating this complex terrain is the result of not just a theoretical understanding of the material, but a deeply lived exploration of each of the main themes that arise in sexual shadow work. That is why I take 11 months to take you through this immersion.

For the first 7 weeks of this module, you will be participating with a public group in an initial exploration of some key themes, and then we dive into a much more detailed, systematic exploration of all the main themes that I have seen emerge in working with people’s sexual shadow. During these 11 months, you will learn an enormous amount about yourself – and about how to facilitate individuals and groups through the murky terrain of the sexual shadow arising – while holding everything in love and clarity.


10 JULY 2018 – 23 OCTOBER 2018

Having immersed ourselves in the exploration of what is in the shadow domains of our sexual energy, we are now ready to explore the real of sex: sexuality that is the real-time response to what is here now, rather than to an association that is triggered in the cellular memory.

In this module, you will learn:

  • how neurochemistry affects your sexual response and how you can use this knowledge to support real sex
  • powerful Tantric practices for activating sexual energy as vital life force/Kundalini in your body
  • practices that activate the liquid body, or the sensual flow of the sexual being
  • practices that support you in directing sexual energy through the subtle body

After the initial 7 weeks with the public group, you will continue to explore the theme of Real Sex with me for another 5 weeks. In this time, we will deepen our practice, grapple with the questions and challenges that arise, and learn how to facilitate this work in sessions and group work.


23 OCTOBER 2018 – 8 JANUARY 2019

Once a foundation for real sex is established in the individual, we are ready to explore sexual challenges and possibilities in intimate relationship. The material in this module will be structured in such a way that you can fully participate if you are not at that time in an intimate sexual partnership.

You will learn:

  • basic principles for working with some of the key dynamics that arise between couples in sexual relationship
  • some maps for understanding and working with relational patterns that block sexual flow between lovers
  • Tantric partner meditations that activate the capacity of lovers to see and experience each other’s divinity.

This module also starts with a 7-week introduction to the topic as part of a public group, and is followed by 5 weeks in which we explore the dynamics and practices more deeply. You will learn key skills for facilitating couples through their evolution in matters of sex, intimacy and relationship.


Shakti Malan is a visionary Tantrika who shares the wisdom-teachings of radical embodiment, inviting the restoration of feminine ways of being. Shakti is South African born and teaches worldwide through in-person retreats and online trainings. She has a passion for collective spiritual awakening, a deep love for people and a unique understanding of the sexual body. She has a PhD in social anthropology, a discipline that unmasks the assumptions through which we interpret the lives of ‘others’, and invites us to listen to what is said in silences, gestures, subtle movement and organization of space. Her book Sexual Awakening for Women is published in English, French and Polish.



"The Totality Therapy training I undertook with Shakti Malan opened me to the wisdom of my body and the beauty of my sexuality, while stretching my spiritual horizons. It is simply the most complete training available today to any sincere seeker... All I learned and experienced from it continues to serve me today, it is that powerful!"

Kalyani Ma Mukti

Mentor and Totality Therapy Practitioner, Yorkshire

Kimaya Crolla-Younger

"My immersion in this training opened immeasurable wisdom and clarity, both personally and professionally. This training is groundbreaking, a full blooded exploration of the agony and ecstasy of this multi-dimensional life! Shakti lovingly leads the way in this training for a new humanity. Take the opportunity to say yes and step into what's next for your evolution"

Kimaya Crolla-Younger

Therapist, Guide and Supervisor, London


“This process of learning to recognize and lovingly honor my own shadow material has created an unwavering foundation from which to hold others.  It’s like running a fine toothed comb through your spirit and teasing every lurking withhold to the surface, creating profound space for love and clarity.  Be prepared to start relishing all experience, even, or maybe even especially, those of an uncomfortable ego. From the first moment I sat in front of Shakti I knew there was no place to hide and I will be forever grateful for that gift.”

Lisa Price

Intimacy Guide, Bay Area California

Paul Abro Testimonial

“A pioneer in the field of Human consciousness and awakening – Shakti marries her deep knowledge of Anthropology and Human Sexuality towards insights and teachings into the human condition which are forward thinking, innovative and inspiring.  Shakti’s teachings have allowed me to come home to a place I always knew existed but lacked the capacity to reach on my own. A Re–Pairing on the deepest level. The teachings and subtle body work practices have set in motion the expanding of a felt sense reality for me – towards a rich and tapestried life of intimacy and love making that I could not have imagined before.”

Paul Abro

Totality Therapy Practitioner & Dentist, Cape Town


Shakti has two very informative longer videos available on the Totality Therapy training – one from 2011, and one from 2017:


The course can be paid once off or there are various payment plan options from yearly, quarterly to monthly installments over 21 months. Registration is only open to participants of the Soulmate Within Course 2017. Please contact Tiffany at to receive your coupon code for a discount for your course fee paid before registration.

The program has a 1-month money back guarantee, after which you are liable for full payment, regardless of whether you complete the course or not.