A moth to the flame

3 years is a long time to be out of circulation from the world – without work & without an income.

In my previous post I shared with you how very scary this was. All of my energy was turned inward, a vertical plummet into the unconscious where the voices of Archetypes, Shadows & Dreams were way louder and far more numinous than my will to participate on the horizontal plane of consensual reality. I literally was only able to perform the most rudimentary tasks of keeping our lives functioning. Buy food, cook food, feed the children, take the children to school. Very basic stuff.

My family and friends were very concerned for me. I was following something that none of my ‘tribe’ could see or feel and so they were unable to relate to what I was experiencing and could not understand my willingness to lose everything in pursuit of this intangible knowing that was calling me down into the depths, into Her bowls, into the Mystery of the Feminine. (My children by the way were amazing!  And paradoxically becoming more of who I really am is the greatest gift I have given them…)

I was drawn to doing this ‘work’ like, ‘a moth to the flame’. A persistent & compelling desire to dive deeper, to meet ALL of myself more fully was calling me to devote everything to what was REAL – to uncover all the myriad twists and turns in which my life force was trapped. There was only one problem! I had no money – I’d used up all my savings, I wasn’t earning any income, and had zero impulse to engage in the outer world and do work of any kind. I was spending money that I didn’t really have on retreats and workshops like it was a limitless and self-replenishing resource.  I had met Shakti and was participating in almost everything that she was offering. I was meditating with another teacher. I was volunteering as a ‘spiritual carer’ at Hospice, following a knowing that death was the key to open me…

I had reached the very LIMIT of my overdraft facilities. (Many years ago, I worked at a SOHO with a wonderful accountant who would march through to the open plan floor chastising us, “girls, it’s a limit NOT a target!”) Another month-end and all my debit orders would be returned, and then Shakti asked me if I would organise a retreat that she would co-facilitate with Dan Brulé, a modern-day teacher, healer, and a world-renowned pioneer in the field of Breathwork – the exchange being that I pay my hard costs of food and accommodation and receive the facilitation for free. Realistically, the responsible answer was NO, and yet I just knew that the only answer was a total YES!  I was learning to listen to the language of knowing that arises from within the body and to trust in its wisdom.

As we wrapped up the 5-Day Diving Deep & Flying High Retreat, the energy in my being shifted and synchronistically on the very last morning, I received a call from an old publishing client offering me a small freelance job and the YES to take it on was right there!

There have been so many gifts and realisations that I’ve received through choosing this work and saying YES over and over and over again. I’d like to share just three of them with you:

1. The Women’s Union is the Heart of Patriarchy. When we realise that, “the more magnificent you are, the more magnificent I am”, then we will dare to dream of a higher and better world and together we can start making that dream a reality. In module 5 of Sexual Awakening for Women 9 Month Online Personal Intensive, we will deeply explore and transform the sexual archetype of ‘The Women’s Union’ that has shaped our relationships with each other in the age of patriarchy.
2. Ending the 1000’s of years of resentment between men & women.  The world is waiting for us to wake up to who we are.  We are the ones who have the power. Only we can end the war. We can choose to remain attached to the idea that we are the victims and men are the perpetrators. We can stick to the belief that men are responsible for ‘patriarchy’ and that we have nothing to do with it…we can wallow in our pain-body OR we can take responsibility for things exactly as they are – do our personal (whatever that looks like for each of us) & collective (as women) healing work and start waking-up to the Body of Love that we are, to Being the Bliss that is our birthright…
3. Desire Creates. Our awakened sexual energy is a universal force of creation. It is our desire that is creating the world and the time has come to take radical responsibility for everything in our experience. It is only through the awakening of our sexuality that a new world can be birthed and all that is needed for us to access this is to keep saying yes to our hearts. This is our power and potential as women 

Embodying just these three fundamental truths is a life-altering game changer!  Priceless really!!  In August, we’ll be launching Sexual Awakening for Women, a 9-Month Online Personal Intensive and if you’ve been wanting to do this ground-breaking work for some time then we invite you to join us in conversation on Sunday 14th July for a free interactive mini-workshop in which Claire Rumore & I will be dialoguing and exploring the four cornerstones of what it means to wake-up to our true potential:  Power * Purpose * Being * Woman

Your unique contribution is in your radiance. My teacher Aisha Salem says, “The only way to lose this game is not to play it”. Take an exciting leap of faith in yourself and say YES to your true nature, say YES to your wildness and you will discover that your freedom is truly contagious, it is the very thing that the world is longing for…
If you are ready to claim your freedom, then Click Here to Learn More & Sign-Up for The Power & Purpose of Being Woman: A free interactive mini-workshop on Sunday 14th July.