A Powerful Practice for Cleaning out Old Patterns

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A Powerful Practice for Cleaning out Old Patterns

I’d like to give you 3 practical and potent practices over the next several days as a way to support you in the first steps to awakening your feminine sexual essence. Here’s the first practice…

Practice #1: Cleaning Out Your Temple

The space of our sexuality as women can be an exquisite temple that is deeply honoring of our being. Imagine your yoni/vagina as a pristine temple space filled with the light of your true essence.

Everything about this space radiates femininity. It is a place of endless beauty, magnetic attraction, nourishing smells and tastes, and restful softness.

I am sure you can feel, as you visualize this space, that the creation and maintenance of this temple has everything to do with how you relate to yourself as a sexual being.

Our relationship with our sexuality can become cluttered with history, old beliefs and experiences we are holding on to and also old strategies to avoid being more present.

Because of all this old material in our sexuality, it can start to feel like our sexuality has become a storage locker or a dumping ground. It’s time to have a look at what is in there and clear out the space, so we can start to feel ourselves again.

I’d like to suggest the following four-step ‘cleaning-out’ practice to begin opening sacred space in the interior of your sexuality. (PS: This practice is unisex. Men can benefit from doing it as much as women!)


    1. Write a short letter to every past lover that is still in the field of your sexuality. Honor them, thank them, and express what you need to express. Then, ritually throw all the letters into the fire. As you do so, say: “I release you (the person’s name) from my sexual space.”
    2. Identify three ways in which you have been using sex. Those could be, for instance: as stress relief, as a kick to lift my mood or my partner’s, as an escape, as a currency to get…(add in here what is true for you). Commit to bringing awareness to your impulse to use sex for these reasons, and to gently stop responding to that impulse.
    3. Write down in your diary or have an honest conversation with a friend about your relationship with Performing in bed. Do you feel that you have to perform in any way? If so, how? What are your habits around sexual performance? Can you begin to let those go?
    4. Reflect on and write down any other ways you have of distracting yourself from being deeply present and in your feeling body during sexual intimacy (for instance, leaving your body, mentally making shopping lists, focusing on your partner’s experience rather than your own). Gently inquire with yourself which of these habits you are ready to let go of.
You’ve probably noticed that, even in reading through these suggestions, you are starting to do the work of clearing out.


Letting go of old habits and old beliefs can be as demanding as going through a detox.
Literally, our biochemistry gets conditioned to release dopamine (a feel-good neuropeptide) when we repeat habitual actions — even if those actions aren’t good for us.


When we stop doing those habitual things, or stop looking at ourselves through familiar lenses, we can feel a drop in dopamine levels. When this happens, remember that you are clearing the way for an awesome new awakening to your true nature as feminine sexual being.


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