Female Sexuality

It seems there comes a time in the lives of so many women when we realize we have lived more in our masculine than in our feminine. Unfortunately, many pin this realization on to appearance and put themselves through a torturous process of attempting to look more feminine. This is the point where women often come to me with the desire to learn how to be feminine – as if feminine essence is another skill we could master. Or women aggressively set forth on a mission to appear more feminine by changing their dress style, their body shape (with diet or surgery), their shoes and handbags, and even their tone of voice. In this way, we play into a trickery that will do everything BUT put us in touch with our feminine essence. In this article, I’d like to explain why.

For a woman to truly open to her sexual nature as an embodiment of the feminine, is to embrace the veiled and hidden quality of it. Our sexual ambrosia is hidden within the inner folds of the yoni (vagina and vulva). It cannot be seen through the outer gaze, but only through the inner. That one who disregards the temptation to play with woman as an object of beauty and truly devotes him/herself to seeing the shimmering soul-essence of Her – only such a one will be given entry in beyond the veils, and will learn to ‘see’ in this space that which remains forever hidden – like a night creature that has eyes to see in the dark.

According to archeologists, it’s been about 5 000 years now – 5 millennia of patriarchy during we as women have subconsciously believed that our sexuality is shameful. We bit the apple, we listened to the snake, and somehow our desires got everybody thrown out of the Garden of Eden to earn their bread amongst thorns and thistles. We live out the virgin-whore split in ourselves on a daily basis. And we reinforce this split in others. In addition, a shocking amount of women in this world have experienced sexual violation and have – almost without exception – been convinced by the perpetrators that they should be ashamed for what happened, that it was somehow their fault.

So, feminine sexual essence: where do we find the models that express what that is? For how long will we keep believing the version of feminine sexuality sold to us by fashion magazines, Hollywood, the porn industry? When will be stop believing that we can find our sexuality as women by comparing ourselves to other women or trying to meet the sexual expectations of men? The fact of the matter is that SHE – the fully fleshed emanation of feminine sexuality – does not live out there. She is in here – inside your body. But to find her there, you will first have to give up that quest to find her out there. Close the magazines. Put off the TV. Put away the makeup and the dresses. Drop everything. Close your eyes. And return to your naked soul.

There is a basic misunderstanding we have in our world that our sexual energy is something personal and it expresses as a personal orgasm for those who are lucky enough to have the knack of it. Follow me in this guided meditation…

Women everywhere are realizing that there is more to their sexuality than they have been conditioned to believe by their culture. I have come to see this in working with thousands of women across the world – that we have some deep, inherent intuition that our sexuality is a profound gateway to living as the feminine in this world.

In our culture’s stereotype of the sexually alive woman, she is dripping with desire and ready to have sex on tap. But this is not who the true feminine is. Her sexuality is a profound gateway. To enter her sexually, is to come through the veils into the inner temple of love. No one who enters there is left unchanged. She will not entertain any demand for sexual satisfaction or titillation – not by herself, and not by another. When she makes love, she makes LOVE.