Tantrika Getting Married

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Tantrika Getting Married

On June 13th 2014, Aaron Swanson asked me to marry him – and I said YES.kiss


Now I know getting married is not a very conventional thing for a Tantrika to do. And that there is a perception in the Western Tantra world that Tantra is not for committed couples.


My first Tantra teacher used to say: Tantra is to couples as flower arranging is to rottweilers. I get the metaphor, for sure. In the three years that I have been with this man, we have fought like cat and dog, plummeted the depths of our shadow materials, and moved through more and more exquisite levels of bliss and passion.


And this is exactly the material that Tantra is all about: opening to all levels of experience: entering into the depths of the shadow, soaring to the heights in the realms of light – and not avoiding anything. We have been facing in the light of truth both our stubborn independence and our co-dependence.


I had been resisting relationship in the years before meeting Aaron, because of my passion for realizing truth, and my assumption that it was not possible to really open to truth in a committed one-on-one relationship. This is understandable, seeing as the world’s idea of monogamy is so burdened with the false assumptions about love, truth and fidelity held by the collective subconscious.


Aaron opened me to deep, intimate and sexually exclusive partnership through his love of truth and his love of the feminine through me. He also introduced me to Bernie Prior, whose teachings revolutionized my understanding of what is possible in relationship. Through this union, I get to embody a central tenet of the Tantric teachings, which is about the union of the masculine and the feminine principles in us and in our union with another.


I’d like to describe here what it is that I am saying YES to with this engagement.

I am saying YES to

  • the hieros gamos – the sacred marriage of the masculine and the feminine
  • embodying that union in a life shared in love and truth with this man
  • letting the light of our love be a blessing to the world
  • having truth be the compass – even if it threatens the relationship
  • walking the cutting edge of my own evolution, and our togetherness as a couple
  • a deep inner marriage that is reflected in an ever deepening relationship with this man
  • exploring a new paradigm for sexual relationship in our time


I am saying NO to

  • the collective subconscious binds of monogamy as it is held in the culture
  • monogamy as culturally sanctioned co-dependence and avoidance of evolutionary challenge
  • the objectification of love
  • the selling out of marriage’s true meaning through too much focus on the external appearance of the event


I know that this union will bring profound gifts of awakening to both Aaron and me. And I know that our union can contribute to a new paradigm of relationship on the planet.


May this union contribute to a clear space of YES for couples in Western Tantra.


And to all you beloveds, regardless of your relationship status or orientation, I invite you to drink from the nectar of this love – and to celebrate with us![/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column width=”1/1″][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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