The Buck Stops Here: Let's Put an End to Sexual Shame

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The Buck Stops Here: Let’s Put and End to Sexual Shame


According to archeologists, it’s been about 5 000 years now – 5 millennia of patriarchy during we as women have subconsciously believed that our sexuality is shameful. We bit the apple, we listened to the snake, and somehow our desires got everybody thrown out of the Garden of Eden to earn their bread amongst thorns and thistles. We live out the virgin-whore split in ourselves on a daily basis. And we reinforce this split in others. In addition, a shocking amount of women in this world have experienced sexual violation and have – almost without exception – been convinced by the perpetrators that they should be ashamed for what happened, that it was somehow their fault.


Not sure if you carry shame for being a sexual woman? Then answer these questions for yourself:

  • Do you believe that being sexual results in a loss of innocence?
  • Do you override the purity of your sexuality through constant sexual compromise?
  • Do you sell yourself out sexually?
  • Do you have negative feelings about your sexual body (your breasts or Yoni/vagina?)
  • Do you believe that your body is not sexy enough?
  • Are you ashamed of not having orgasms, or not having the right kind?
  • Does your family find sexuality shameful or taboo to talk about?
  • Are there sexual secrets in your family?
  • Do you have secret sexual habits?


  1. The first step is to admit, and to see, that we carry this shame.
  2. The next step is to start asking yourself: What are the beliefs you carry that hook your sexuality into shame?
  3. Finally, make a distinction: What are the ways in which you betray your sexuality? That will lead to some healthy shame. And then, what are the ways in which you simply shame your sexuality or your desire? This shame has to stop. Find in yourself the clarity that this has to happen.


In my upcoming course Awakening Your Feminine Sexual Essence I guide women through a systematic process to come to recognize the ways we have put together this body of shame, and how we can end this, now.



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