Why Feminine Appearance is Pure Trickery

Why Feminine Appearance is Pure Trickery


It seems there comes a time in the lives of so many women when we realize we have lived more in our masculine than in our feminine. Unfortunately, many pin this realization on to appearance and put themselves through a torturous process of attempting to look more feminine. This is the point where women often come to me with the desire to learn how to be feminine – as if feminine essence is another skill we could master. Or women aggressively set forth on a mission to appear more feminine by changing their dress style, their body shape (with diet or surgery), their shoes and handbags, and even their tone of voice. In this way, we play into a trickery that will do everything BUT put us in touch with our feminine essence. In this article, I’d like to explain why.

Focus on presentation is a masculine trait

My first Tantra teacher Rahasya was the one who made me aware of this phenomenon: It really is a woman’s inner masculine who has her dressing up. Why? Because appearance is an expression of skillful action in the world. Our presentation has effect. When a woman walks into the boardroom wearing a suit which also shows her figure, she will wield more power than if she walked in wearing a baggy tracksuit. it is not surprising that much of what is sold in the world as a display of femininity is designed by men. But what you may find surprising, is that those long legs you see in pantyhose adverts oftentimes belong to adolescent men. Look carefully at ramp models and you’ll see the similarity between their physique and that of adolescent men. In fact, in Rahasya’s language, what we call femininity in our world is oftentimes simply a display of the junior masculine – women emulating men in a male dominated, power-hungry world; women getting better than men at their own game.

The feminine is deeply internal and veiled

Look at a woman’s shape. Our sexuality is hidden in the inner folds of our bodies. Very few women have ever seen their own vaginas and vulvas. Our sex is hidden in the inner mysteries of our beings. It can never be displayed. This in sharp contrast to a man’s penis which is external, visible and erect. Our primary sexual organ is a metaphor of the feminine – the veiled Goddess who can only be known through a turning within, a sensitizing to the subtle internal movements of the body that can never be on display.

The feminine is soft, receptive and going nowhere slowly

Again, looking at the shape of women’s bodies, we can see that our bodies were not meant to be thrusting, one-pointed focused and goal oriented. If they were, we would have had penises. Instead, we have curves everywhere – curves that want to move in round, undulating movements, dropping deeper and deeper into a state of simply being in this moment. When a woman truly opens to her bliss body, she discovers that her feminine sexual essence wants to go nowhere slowly. In this deep dropping inwards, she has no concern really for appearance, only for what is real in the moment, which is arising from within.

A woman’s beauty is in her being not her appearance

Anyone who has ever truly loved a woman knows that her beauty goes way beyond her looks. In fact, what a lover is seeing, even though s/he may not be conscious of it, is Love embodied. It is the shape and the flavor of Love that emanates from us that is magnetically attractive. By Love with a capital L I mean not just that sweet soppy version of love that wants to please; I mean the fundamental force that animates life on this planet. Love is the feminine principle at work – She who creates all of this.

She of endless appearances

This brings me to the final point of great importance on this topic. The true appearance of the Feminine is utterly fluid. She appears as every possible presentation on the face of this earth. Bear with me as I explain. At the very heart of the feminine principle is the Creatrix – SHE who creates all of the facets of life, and also destroys them. She is utterly unbiased in the process of creation, and enjoys as much the process of manifesting everything that you find desirable and attractive as creating everything you find ugly and repulsive.

When a woman truly drops into her Feminine Essence, she drops through the matrix of polarities that dictates what is beautiful and what is not. In stead of investing all her energy in maintaining a face that she believes to be beautiful, she opens up to feel – and be – it all. This means that in one moment, she may look like a plump virgin, and the next like a ravenous hag. She who can at times display pure abundance and fruitfulness can at other times reveal the impermanence of all things through her body. Eventually, her face becomes so transparent that the one who looks at her, will recognize that s/he is only seeing his/herself. This kind of seeing can result in an explosion of love and a liberation from the bondage of identification.

Entering the conscious play

Having said all of this, it is also an essential part of the feminine that she creates the Maya – the play of illusion. This is a beautiful and fundamental aspect of what we are here for – the conscious process of creation. When the choosing if wardrobes and the manicuring of appearance becomes a conscious celebration of this play, it can support us in not taking ourselves so seriously, in loosening our identification with appearance, and at the same time, giving ourselves fully into this marvelous Game called Life.

3 Gateways into Woman’s Body Divine

This coming Monday 20 September at 9am PST, I am offering a FREE, live online call in which I will guide women in how to into our sexual bodies and access the flow of feminine bliss. Simply sign up here and let me guide you into the feminine sexual essence of your beautiful body.

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