Soulmate Within

Soulmate Within

In our collective psyches the dream of finding the Soulmate moves strongly – that ‘other’ who will meet and fulfill me completely. There is a real soulmate for each one of us. But that person is inside. Inside ourselves we are both masculine and feminine.

Within each one of us, resides the Masculine and Feminine principles. While we may be consciously identifying with one principle, we may unconsciously be dominated by the other principle. So for instance, many women at the end of patriarchy may be priding themselves on being liberated Goddesses, but the quality of their lives is still dictated by an outdated masculine model of productivity and goal-orientation. Our first challenge is to bring some clarity and honesty to the seeing of where our inner masculine-feminine relationship is at.

The split between masculine and feminine in us is a primary polarity. A central aim of Shakti’s work is the integration of this polarity. With that comes an experience of who you really are, in all your rich diversity. Paradoxically, as we embrace our inner Soulmate, a new fruitfulness becomes possible in our outer relationships.

The lovers and loved ones that cross our paths are our mirrors for where we are in the inner relationship between male and female. They can also be a rich fulfillment – and embodiment – of our inner Soulmate.

In a relationship between two people, there are really four parties involved: Each person’s inner masculine and inner feminine. Sometimes the conversation between a heterosexual couple is happening between their two masculines. It is good to understand consciously when this is happening.

Our inner masculine and feminine have different aspects or dimensions. That is why we experience different parts of ourselves with different people. Through becoming conscious of the projections that others carry for us, we can deepen our intimate relationship between our inner masculine and feminine

The three pillow exercise

To get to know our inner masculine/feminine, we will use the three pillow exercise.

Put out three pillows. Two pillows are facing each other, and the third pillow is facing the two that are facing each other.

The first pillow is your feminine and the second your masculine. The third is the witness.

If you are a woman, then you put yourself in the feminine pillow. If you are a man, then put in the feminine pillow a woman who currently has an impact on your life. This woman can be a lover, an ex lover, a friend, a colleague, your mother – any woman whatsoever who is currently influencing your experience of woman.

The second pillow is the masculine. Put yourself in here if you are a man, or if you are a woman – a man who currently has an impact on your life.

The third pillow is that of the witness. The witness observes the relationship between the masculine and the feminine without taking sides or adding information. S/he listens with compassion, deep wisdom and insight, and reflects back what s/he hears.

Moving between the pillows

Start in the pillow that represents your own gender. Decide who to put in the pillow opposite you. In the first person, speak to the other pillow opposite you. Ask the questions or share the feelings or thoughts that you need to share to move this relationship to a deeper level. What is it that you are feeling or seeing about this person or about the relationship between you?

When you are complete, shift to the other pillow. Take a moment to feel yourself stepping into the energy of this pillow – that of the person you had put in the pillow. You literally ‘become’ this person. Don’t think how this person would respond. Feel. Take a moment for this person to hear what you said. Then let him/her respond. When this person is complete, move back to the first pillow.

Continue the conversation until you feel the need for witnessing. Then step into the witness pillow.

You can continue the dialogue back in the other two pillows after this.

When the time you have is up or when you feel complete, take some time to reflect on how the person in the pillow opposite you reflects your inner masculine – and how this dialogue reflects your inner dialogue between your masculine and feminine. Reflect also on your capacity to witness yourself.

For now, our purpose with the dialogue is simply for you to get a sense of your inner masculine and feminine, and to open a dialogue between them. You don’t have to resolve anything in the dialogue just yet.

After experimenting with the masculine feminine dialogue on your own, make an appointment with your buddy and witness each other going deeper in your dialogues. The buddy asks questions and observes what s/he sees to help the explorer go deeper.

Ultimately, the aim of the Soulmate Within work is the divine union where he masculine and feminine principles in us become one. As logion 22 from the Gospel of Mary Magdalene says:.

When you are able

To make two become one,

The inside like the outside,

And the outside like the inside

The higher like the lower,

So that a man is no longer male,

And a woman, female,

But male and female become one one single whole..

– then you shall enter in.