The existential crisis of a little girl…
I started my day feeling a little disconnected, anxious. Intuitively I felt that it would be important for me to cancel my plans for the gym, my plans to hit my tasks of work performances and drop into feeling myself.
I created a new “to-do” list. Activities to clear my mind and allow the acceptance of all of my feelings. Find the parts of me which were loving and “on-board” with the anxiety and bring them into acceptance and love… How was I going to do this?
- Clean my home and clear the dust and clutter. The physical actions to create more space for my creative being.
- Connect with my guides and ancestors. Meditate. Allow myself to feel the support of the universe.
- Journal and write. Let my feelings be felt, seen and heard. Let myself find my centre.
Whilst giving my desk in my office a good rub down, I stumbled upon a little note pad of my 7 year old daughter. The page was open to her latest writing and reflection:
“Who am I?, Who are fairies? Who are Mermaids” …..
At first, I thought it was simply just cute … then my mind wandered to the musings of a little girl…. her existential crisis as it were…
Three simple questions. Three huge questions.
A simple 8×10 piece of paper held questions that have plagued the minds for mystics over aeons.
The call of fairytales, the allusion toward things unseen but deeply desired… the possibility of magical unseen creatures that love and support us… which bring us gifts and bring us joy….
I ask myself … what is it about the idea of fairies and mermaids which pull at the hearts of young (and old) girls so much? What archetypes of the feminine do they call in us? Do they represent the capacity of the feminine to create magic? To be powerful protectors of the earth?
Is there something in their “being unseen”, being “hidden” that is so representative of the feminine quality in us? Something so magical and so powerful yet worthy of protection from the glaring eyes of the crazy, judgemental unbelieving world?
In three simple little phrases it raised so many questions for me: What does my inner little girl, my feminine believe? What does she want to know? How does she express in my life?
For sure, I know that when I am deeply connected to my feminine side I am deeply connected to the magical and the mystical. The wisdom of the sages and mystics. The ones who believe that there is so much out there beyond what the eyes can see.
My feminine is connected to deeper intuitive knowings. She loves the wisdom of the moon and the tides. She is connected to nature and the unseen forces which keep its cyclical nature in balance.
It is this strength and wisdom of the feminine which allows us to hold ourselves in loving and nurturing care when the surface of our being hit into waves of anxiety…
… like a deep ocean, the storm can create great turbulence and waves on the surface, but in the depths resides the great stillness and great vastness of something far greater, something so powerful, yet so unseen.
Giving myself permission to find and explore these great depths, to plunge into this unknown wisdom of the feminine, generates a capacity which is the greatest treasure….
….the hidden treasure is found resting at the bottom of the ocean … where it is dark, in the silent emptiness of nothing, not at the surface where the coral reefs thrive with busy little fishes and the activity of seamen….
The depths where the mermaids reside … the sirens which call out to the hearts of men…. The places of magic and mystery….
From this place…. I know that anything is possible and I am ok. I am safe. I am loved. I am supported. I am celebrated.
“Who am I?”
“I am the great mystery. I am woman. I am creation. I am love.”
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