Wake up Your Sexual Virgin

There are three archetypes of feminine sexuality that are called on in the process of sexual awakening. Men, with some creative reading, you’ll see how this applies to your journey.

The sexual archetype I’d like to introduce here is the Virgin. In our collective unconscious, the words “virgin” and “sexual” don’t go together. Patriarchy has turned the virgin into an asexual, disembodied creature who floats ethereally above her body.

So you may be surprised to hear me say: Without a full claiming and embodiment of the virginal in our sexuality, our sex will never plumb the depths that it can take us to. And you may be even more surprised to hear me say: the virginal has nothing to do with how many sexual encounters we have had. The sexual virgin in us has a quality of singleness, presence and profound inner freedom.

She is single in that she resides in our essential nature, before any experience. She is not given to the entanglement that characterizes most sexual relationships, whether they be between marriage partners or sexual flings. Her love is for the Beloved within, who manifests as the beloved in another body.

To explore this quality, try this:

Imagine sitting opposite a sexual partner. Close your eyes. Become aware of your perineum at the base of your torso, the part of your body that you are sitting on. Identify a point between your anus and genitals. Now become aware of the crown of your head. Inwardly, imagine a line being drawn between these points, running through your sex center and your heart. Imagine your breath running between these two points and turn your gaze inwards towards this channel, which is known as the shushumna or hollow flute. Now keep your attention in this center and become aware of your imaginary sexual partner without leaving your own core.

The virgin is present. She experiences each moment as the first touch of the beloved. Try for yourself.

Go outside and pick up an object in nature. It can be a leaf, a stone, a feather, a flower, anything that draws you. Find a quiet spot and close your eyes. Put the object in the palm of your hand. Let all your attention come to rest in experiencing this object with all your senses. Feel the texture of the touch. Imagine you can listen to it, you can even put your ear to it. Smell it, taste it. See it inwardly. Now sense into the possibility of this object becoming one with you.

Imagine meeting a lover in this way.  Imagine touching someone you have been with for 20 years as if this touch is the very first one. That is the quality of the virgin alive in your sexuality.

Finally, the virgin brings profound inner freedom to our sexuality.  She brings you back to your wholeness: To discover what this means, get a pen and paper and try the following exercise:

What qualities in your sexual partner (past or present) blocks your experience of profound inner freedom in your sexual relationship? Once you have identified the qualities, apply great honesty to see whether these qualities may also exist in you, in disguised form. Now see if you, can, even just for a minute, let go of this projection on to your partner. Notice the subtle feeling of inner freedom that comes over you. Now imagine making this your way of living.

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