Making Love with Liquid Bodies

Making Love with Liquid Bodies

liquid body

We live in a world that is massively driven and full of hard edges. When our daily lives are a constant push for achievement, our sexual experience will take the same tone. We’ll be hunting orgasm and fast reward – while at the same time feeling disconnected from a true sense of sexual flow. The reason is that driven sex is fired by dopamine – the neuropeptide that provides a quick feel-good sensation when we enter into the hunt. But the problem with dopamine is that “there ain’t no satisfaction” – any sexual experience that involved too much frenetic activity to reach orgasm will soon after bring a dump in our neurochemistry as the dopamine levels drop – which means we’ll have to get back on to the sexual treadmill. Or we might find ourselves losing interest in sex entirely.


The good news is that every human being has access to a much more sustainable – and deeply rewarding – flow of sexual energy. But in stead of pushing for fire works, this sexual flow invites us into the element of water – into our liquid bodies. In stead of pumping our bodies full of adrenaline and cortisol, we have the opportunity – from moment to moment, and also in our lovemaking – to slow down, breathe deeply, connect intimately (with ourselves or with a partner) and really feel in the body.


Here are some elements of liquid body lovemaking:

  1. Become aware of your breathing. Gradually and effortlessly, deepen your breath until you’re breathing all the way into your belly. Release the out-breath with a sigh or a pleasurable sound. Let your breath become smoothe and long like a wave, and your in- and out-breaths following on each other like high-tide and low-tide.
  2. Slow down and enjoy. Liquid body lovemaking is languid. Your long deep breathing will help you get into this rhythm.
  3. Make contact with yourself or with your partner through your heart. Consider your heart to be the main organ that activates arousal.
  4. Take time for foreplay – with yourself or with a lover – through loving, conscious touch (hands connected to heart) and deep, delicious embraces. A deeply given and felt embrace is one of the surest ways to activate the release of oxytocin, the neuro-chemical that makes falling in love, and breastfeeding for women, feel so good. Oxytocin is interested in bonding, not a quick high. So if you are making love to yourself, make sure that your sexual self-exploration is an expression of self-love. You can be curious in your exploration of your own body as you can be with the body of a beloved.
  5. Let your spine become liquid in lovemaking. Our spines are highways of sexual energy flow through the body. When you let your spine curve and undulate, and your pelvis rock in a slow and delicious way, this pumps sexual energy up through your body.
  6. Experiment with making sounds in lovemaking. You can chant “hmmmmm” or even “ohm”. The vibration that this sounding creates in your body is a powerful way of opening your body to a more liquid state.


Our bodies are 70% water and our brains 80% water. So although we are land-based creatures, our bodies have a deeply elemental relationship with water. Entering into our liquid bodies is a powerful way to come free from the rigid structures and beliefs that keep our lives in a vice-grip.  We don’t have to struggle to free ourselves — simply to open to Grace that is always there to return us to life’s naturally sensual flow.


I am just back from running a liquid body retreat at the ocean and am still in awe of the exquisite transformation that has happened for participants. Fear has been replaced with a deep and irrevocable sense of connection with all of life. Shame has made way for continuous expression of love, as unselfconscious as the sensual play of the dolphins we met in the ocean. Visions have become clear, old, painful ideas about what it means to be sexual have dropped away.


But you don’t need to get to Mozambique to share in the delight of liquid body sexual discovery. You don’t even need a partner! On Wednesday 23 November 9am PST, I’m offering a free live webinar on How to make love to yourself the Tantric way. I’ll be sharing with you 3 principles for taking your self-loving to the next level. You can register for this free call here.

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